the end of a new beginning

i dont know if people actually read this, i kinda hope they dont... so i think i made up my mind about wheather we should be together or not... after today i think i realized how uncompatible we are... how we are just forcing the issue... you are the reason these tears drip down... i hate crying and i know i cry when i really care about someone, but i think ive come to a point where i hate crying and that it hurts soo muchh ... what you said and tried to threaten me with... fuck you for that... like seriously... im hung on you like thers no words to describe... but sometimes thats just not enough... you were my frist for everything... and thats what scares me, cause im not going to have any more first.... you were a great guy and will always be... you treated me like a princess at times and you really made me open up to you... i trust you... andd i loveee you...
i know this time is serious and its not just one of those fights because we stopped changing and we realized that we are fed up.. noone can change anyone permenantly or forever... i know i am stubborn and im going to always be that way.. because thats just me... there comes a point when trying is enough...and i think today was evident to the point...
we are still young.. theres no force to have to be together... i dunno why.. i still get scared just thinking about if i will ever find anyone like you... you were a good guy... and alot of ppl complimented you on that... i guess we just arent meant to be or something
things are official yet, but i know the way we are handling this situation says alot about us and where this relationship is going... thinga have become really bitter and sour... i dunno if the official ending will be this way ...
i wish there was an easier way to end this... ther just isnt... look at everything thats happened in the last 72 hours... the thing you said and the things ive been sayingg are pretty evident where this is going...
thanks for all the great things you showed me in the last 2 and half years... you should meeee how it truly feels liek to be in love,cared about and felt important too.
i dont regret a thing about the last two years but the fact that it has to end this way... i just want you to know no matter what... you will always have a piece of my heart and i hope i have a spot in your heart like the way you said i would forever and always...

thanks dc for everything <3

One of Those Off Days

“This week I did shit” quoted from my roommate. All I did was laugh but then I realized I’m in the exact position she is. I didn’t do anything this week, I’m suppose to be doing work but I don’t know why I can’t seem to find the motivation to do anything. I guess its even harder right now to do anything since I only slept three hours. Last night I stayed up till 9 this morning chatting with JC and AA. And I think I hit an epiphany. As must as I hate to admit it, school for me is about competing with others and like he said, if I continue this mind set in the end I’m just wasting my time because an education is suppose to be for myself.

This morning was so weird too; I didn’t sleep all night, and watched the sun rise, which was my first time. I also had breakfast something I haven’t done all term and something I rarely did last term. I’m going to miss V1 when im gone next year. Things aren’t going to be that convenient anymore, school isn’t just across the street and food won’t be prepared. As much as I miss it, I’m excited to move into that apartment, I hope everything works out and I can move in with no problem.

People are right when they say the first bit is always the best. I just finished a melona and I had the extra burst of energy to blog about whats been happening. The melona tasted ohhhh sooo good :)

Sometimes thats all i need to get my mind off of this

How it all Started

So I'm sure I've created a blog before, but i don't remember the user or password so I decided to start a new one :) So the reason I got motivated to start this blog is when I was cruising on facebook and landed on this particular person's page. I read her whole blog and in each article and writing piece there was this motivation and inspiration to do my own. I mean she has hers and its absolutely great and worth reading, maybe my words will be worth reading or for me to read through when im 25. Who knows how far I am to be driven to write this thing.

In some ways I think this is so much easier than diaries. Ive started so many diaries and i never finished any, and majority of it was about boys and boyfriends or ex boyfriends. Time to change it up and blog about things that matter to me :) and that doesn't just include boys

I'm sure everyone on this planet has a story to write it's just about finding the right words and phrases to link and put them together. Sometimes I'm going to be blogging about things that make absolute no sense but bare with me :) I think each soul in this world has a unique story. I'm also going to use this blog to enhance my English and make me feel smarter as well.

I'm not too sure if I'm going to want to share this blog but for now I'm just going to jot down whatever is on my mind :)

Peaceeeeee <3